I had once thought

I had once thought
I had once thought
that maybe this was life.
No love, no hate, no feelings.
My deepest feelings would never be shared.
I was so frightened;
I didn''t know what to do.
Scared of this one man all my life.
Face my fear, I told myself!
But it''s so hard, so confusing.
Do you know what it''s like
to wonder in darkness?
It never stops, never ends.
It goes on like a story with no ending.
Do you know how it feels
to be afraid of something
that you can''t do anything about?
That you didn''t ask for or even think about?
Do you know what it''s like? Do you know how it feels?
It''s complete and pure emptiness!
  

Jun, 18 2010     624 chars (4 sms)     3654 views       English Poetry

more English Poetry SMS Messages

|*| Love Lost |*|

I Am Not Yours,
Not Lost In You,
Not Lost,
Although I Long To Be Lost As A Candle Lit At Noon,
Lost As A Snowflake In The Sea.
You Love Me, And
I Find You Still A Spirit Beautiful And Bright,
Yet I Am I, Who Long To Be Lost As A Light Is Lost In Light. Oh Plunge Me Deep In Love --
Put Out My Senses,
Leave Me Deaf And Blind, Swept By The Tempest Of Your Love,
A Taper In A Rushing Wind.
This is True Luv:
I don''t care how many
lips u''ve kissed, how
many shoulders u''ve
embraced & how many
times u''ve said,I Luv U!
All I care is not b d first
but to be ur last!
People frm every walk of life
Envisage victory and strife
But at some point u find
Tardiness in ur life and mind
Your life stops and comes to an end
And u are in oblivion with nothing to fight for or defend
Anything may stimulate it
Personal loss or a jobles status maybe fit
But such a break from your daily buzz
Lets u rethink on your deed with not much fuss
then u realise that all those painstaking days
With pangs of emotion ,joy and anger has left u frail
Making u maudlin and in a state of enigma
U wail out unconsciously ''Oh Ma...''
Then u wonder y u were ever born
Is it to end up like this ,hopeless and forlorn???
U ponder over your contribution to the world
Then as u go deeper to the murky mind,u even question the existence of such a world
Fears wash away from one single touch
Longing to be closer so to your waist I clutch
I shuffle my feet closer to the edge
Fears resurfacing, I can''t fall from this ledge
But then you take my hand into yours, what a sensation!
I peer over the edge for a look at sweet temptation

To Keep suppressing this feeling is to keep telling lies
I don''t feel frightened when you look into my eyes
I lean over the edge just a little more
I hear you call my name again just like before
If I should let go and fall from this ledge above
Tell me, will you reach out and catch me if I fall in love?
When I fall in love,
I want you
to be happy
always, ever

and feel like
the happiest
person
of them
all . . .

Because that''s

what I will feel,

when I fall in love,

with you.

The sweet laughter—I didn’t love in vain.
I didn’t graft reason onto love.

She pulls me, she pulls me with her lasso-like braid.
How could I be separated from her ambergris-scented hair?

Peris, lovely, tall beauties –
Mazun won’t refuse if they want his soul.

I’ve put my head in their path.
My head’s bad luck is because of my tongue.
SmiLiNg Is NoT My ReAliTy,
ThIs Is HoW I PrEtEnD To Be,
By NiGhT I CrY MySeLf To SlEeP,
WiD My GoD FrOwNiNg At Me,
DrOwnInG In A FlOoD Of TeArS,
BuT TeArs Are My DeStInY,
My ViSiOn A BlUr As I FuLLFiLL,
AnD ThIs Is HoW I MeAnT To Be,
My LiFe UnWoRthY,
My SelF To KiLL,
ExIsTeNcE A ToRtUrE I MuSt EnDurE,
As U RegArDeD SuiCiDe As SiN,
I M NoT AgAiNsT U My HeArt Is PuRe,
FaTe Is MoCkInG WiTh An EviL GriN,
SuRrOuNDeD In A BlAcK NeSs So DeEp,
I WaLk,I SeE But SuRvIvE No MoRe,
I M DeAd InSiDe,
In DaRkNeSs WeEp,
YoU KnoW I LoVe U,
LIkE EvEr BeFoRe,
FoRgIvE Me As In My GrAvE I LaY,
FrEe Me oF ThiS PaIn AnD LeT Me DiE,
I JuSt CaNT BaRe It AnY MoRe:''(
Didn''t they say that I would make a mistake
Didn''t they say you were gonna be trouble
People told me you were too much to take
I couldn''t see it, I didn''t want to know
I let you in, and you let me down
You messed me up and you turned my life around
Left me feeling I had nowhere to go
I was alone how was I to know that
You would be there when I needed somebody
You would be there the only one could help
I had a picture of you in my mind
Never knew it could be so wrong
Why''d it take me so long just to find
The friend that was there all along
Who''d believe that after all we''ve been through
I''d be able to put my trust in you
Goes to show you can forgive and forget
Looking back I have no regrets cos
O Bearer, bring the wine that brings joy
To increase generosity, & let perfection buoy
Give me some, for I have lost my heart
Both traits from me have kept apart
Bring the wine whose reflection in the cup
Signals to all the kings whose times are up
Give me wine, and with the reed-flute I will sing
When was Jamshid, and when Kavoos was king
Bring me the elixir whose grace and alchemy
Bestows treasures, from bonds of time sets free
Give me so they''ll open the doors once again
Of long life and the bliss that will remain
Bearer give the wine that the Holy Grail
Will make claims of sight in the Void and thus fail
Give me so that I, with the help of the Grail
All secrets, like Jamshid, themselves avail
Speak of the tale of the wheel of fate
I had once thought
that maybe this was life.
No love, no hate, no feelings.
My deepest feelings would never be shared.
I was so frightened;
I didn''t know what to do.
Scared of this one man all my life.
Face my fear, I told myself!
But it''s so hard, so confusing.
Do you know what it''s like
to wonder in darkness?
It never stops, never ends.
It goes on like a story with no ending.
Do you know how it feels
to be afraid of something
that you can''t do anything about?
That you didn''t ask for or even think about?
Do you know what it''s like? Do you know how it feels?
It''s complete and pure emptiness!
They could never understand
what u set out 2 do
instead they chose 2
ridicule u

when u got weak
they loved the sight
of your dimming
and flickering starlight

How could they understand what was so intricate
2 be loved by so many, so intimate

they wanted 2 c your lifeless corpse
this way u could not alter the course
of ignorance that they have set
2 make my people forget
what they have done for much 2 long
2 just forget and carry on

I had loved u forever because of who u r
and now I mourn our fallen star
So often when I am embracing you,
It seems that you exist in this world
only because of me and I exist because of you.

It''s not easy to wander in this world
and not lose one''s way,
but the greatest happiness of all
is in giving joy to one''s beloved.

And if the king can have his throne,
and if the bird can have his Spring nest,
and God can have his heaven,
then I, my sweetheart, I can have you!