I had once thought

I had once thought
I had once thought
that maybe this was life.
No love, no hate, no feelings.
My deepest feelings would never be shared.
I was so frightened;
I didn''t know what to do.
Scared of this one man all my life.
Face my fear, I told myself!
But it''s so hard, so confusing.
Do you know what it''s like
to wonder in darkness?
It never stops, never ends.
It goes on like a story with no ending.
Do you know how it feels
to be afraid of something
that you can''t do anything about?
That you didn''t ask for or even think about?
Do you know what it''s like? Do you know how it feels?
It''s complete and pure emptiness!
  

Jun, 18 2010     624 chars (4 sms)     4375 views       English Poetry

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My Pillow gazes upon me at night

Empty as a gravestone;

I never thought it would be so bitter

To be alone,

Not to lie down asleep in your hair.



I lie alone in a silent house,

The hanging lamp darkened,

And gently stretch out my hands

To gather in yours,

And softly press my warm mouth

Toward you, and kiss myself, exhausted and weak-

Then suddenly I''m awake

And all around me the cold night grows still.

The star in the window shines clearly-

Where is your blond hair,

Where your sweet mouth?



Now I drink pain in every delight

And poison in every wine;

I never knew it would be so bitter

To be alone,

Alone, without you.
When I fall in love,
I want you
to be happy
always, ever

and feel like
the happiest
person
of them
all . . .

Because that''s

what I will feel,

when I fall in love,

with you.
Silent Words Across A Screen.
How Could They Mean So Much To Me.
I Promised Myself I Would Not Cry.
Then A Silent Tear Falls From My Eye.

What Did I Do, What Did I Say,
To Make You Change Your Mind, The Day You Went Away.
Everyday, Waiting For A Sign
To Let Me Know, You Might Still Want To Be Mind.

Andother Day Comes And Goes,
I Want To Write, But I Can''t, I Know.
You Said You Needed Me More Than I Needed You,
Why Would You Say That, If You Knew It Wasn''t True?

Why Did You Say You Loved Me?
Then Turn Around And Set Me Free?
I Love You And Want You,
But I Know I Can''t Make You Love Me.
Every normal person has 72 heart beats, but for myself its 73. the extra 1 is ur smile. So don’t stop ur smile, it will affect my heart.. Keep Smiling
I dive down the sea
To get u a pearl
Its enchanting beauty caught me
When it was lying inside its shell
I picked it up just for you
But when I saw the shell it was all
Alone
Its majestic ness was lost
Its beauty was caught
I got back to present it to you
But found there nobody waiting for me
I felt just the same as the shell
I lost my pearl n I was same
Nothing without u just nothing. . . . .
I stand at the edge straight as a board
Overwhelmed by my fears my desires ignored
I reach out my hands only to hold myself back
My mind racing sorting fiction from fact
My head lifts and eyes brighten when I hear you call
Still I remain motionless, I don''t wanna fall

I''m afraid, but what exactly am I afraid of?
My heart shutters at the thought of falling in love
Overcome by fear I remain completely still
My emotions can''t deepen if I refuse to feel
Once again my name escapes from your lips
I feel the gentle brush of your sweet fingertips
Have you ever been in love?
so in love that you couldn''t form those words
thoughts buzzing in your head that you dare not speak
afraid to speak because you might say something dumb
you crawl into your own world
keep your feelings to yourself
no one knows how you feel inside, sometimes not even yourself
you giggle crazily when he is around
you feel like you will die when you hug goodbye
at the end of the day your going crazy with anticipation for tomorrow
you gather all your courage to finally say those words
you grab your pen and spill your emotins onto the paper
expressing all your love on one sheet of paper
its agony to hand it over to the one you love
the fear of rejection is greater than any pain you know
you finally let go and walk away
You’re welcome sit down here
Between welcome and farewell I sat there
She starts to click her fingers and toes
Music Music out of this noise
My ears assured me and even nose
...Perfume tidiness cleanliness are highlighted
As well as their papers lit Phosphorus
No more mess, no more Chaos in this chorus
She and she and she are the tops of the hierarchy
Infected us with Poise that topples our anarchy
Now it’s clear that King Lear was right
In his abundance of the Monarchy
For the benefit of two girls
Since oranges can’t be compared to apples
Thanks to their Oranges’ Adam’ apple
“You can shed tears that she is gone,
or you can smile because she has lived.
You can close your eyes and pray that she''ll come back,
or you can open your eyes and see all she''s left.
Your heart can be empty because you can''t see her,
or you can be full of the love you shared.
You can turn your back on tomorrow and live yesterday,
or you can be happy for tomorrow because of yesterday.
You can remember her only that she is gone,
or you can cherish her memory and let it live on.
You can cry and close your mind,
be empty and turn your back.
Or you can do what she''d want:
smile, open your eyes, love and go on.”
~Tough Time Don''t Last~

I said
"Sometimes I fail"
HE said
"I''ll see you through"
I said
"But what if I fall?"
HE said
"I''ll carry you"

I said
"My fears r gr8"
HE said
"Trust me alone"
I said
"But I''m depressed"
HE said
"I''ll cheer you on"

I said
"Life isn''t easy"
HE said
"Please, let Me help.
Remember, I love you"
I said
"GOD, I accepted" ...
Still I smile
And pretend to be carefree ,
But whats behind ?
Nobody ever tried to see .

Like a poison inside me
Still I wanna you to hold ,
Desperately I wanna breath
But my breaths have turned frozen and cold .

Through my body
Like blood you run ,
Now you are my night
And the only sun .

So don''t feel hurted
And never do leave my eyes ,
A bond of love
Ours relation is
I don''t know what it is
that is making me fall for you.
There is just something,
something hidden within.
You are starting to mean a lot,
I hope things turn out good,
no matter what happens.
In all ways-
You will still be my friend.
I have come to know you,
you are a really fun person.
I am tired of hearing bad things
and they are all about you.
I don''t believe any of them,
because I believe you.
You would be my first boyfriend,
I wouldn''t mind that being you.
So come into my life,
as if it were yours.
You are welcome to my heart,
as long as you don''t break it.
You break it, you buy it.