I had once thought

I had once thought
I had once thought
that maybe this was life.
No love, no hate, no feelings.
My deepest feelings would never be shared.
I was so frightened;
I didn''t know what to do.
Scared of this one man all my life.
Face my fear, I told myself!
But it''s so hard, so confusing.
Do you know what it''s like
to wonder in darkness?
It never stops, never ends.
It goes on like a story with no ending.
Do you know how it feels
to be afraid of something
that you can''t do anything about?
That you didn''t ask for or even think about?
Do you know what it''s like? Do you know how it feels?
It''s complete and pure emptiness!
  

Jun, 18 2010     624 chars (4 sms)     4126 views       English Poetry

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A carousel forever turning
They care not, self is paramount
All egos blazing
Hour after endless hour they continue
On
Leaving me alone
Cornered, with nowhere to run
Only one can end this
Your refusal burning deep
Branding me, scarring my psyche
I pray to sleep eternally this night
For tomorrow brings more pain
And I can face no more tomorrows
No home to succor me
Who will care, responsibility is for
Those who accept it and try to make it right
I am here, my love is real, tangible
Yours to accept
Don''t shut me out
Don''t push me from you
For then there will be no more
Tomorrows
Only eternal peace
I fight 4 d unconventional
as ma lyf is very unconditional
i''ld try 2 b as real as i can
my disadvantage is, i neva knew d plan
i suffered alot buh still i fight
doesn''t matter i win or lose,atleast i tried
at d end ov d day, u just knw 1 thing
tht if u gt sum1,u''ve gt everything
u think tht sum1 is d world, d lyf, ur aim
buh mayb u r wrong ven lyf plays d game
dono,ve u identified me, ma lyfstyle, ma tone?
d thing tht i c is um just alone, awl alone!!!
lukin 4 d future,observing present,faced d past
u dnt gt wt u want, as d lyf passes by so fast!!
I can survive,
And still jive
Though you are gone

Doesn''t really matter
My heart wont shatter
What if I am alone

Let the flowers bloom
Let the birds chirp
I wont drown in gloom

Let the wind whisper
Sweet nothings,
Let the cloud flirt

The fragrance,
the lilting melody
The nightly croon

Nothing can make me miss you
Nothing can sway

But...
it rained today...
Where do you run in such a hurry?
To the embracing arms of god,
Or to relish a feast, spread by the lord
Is there someone there to ferry?
To another bank of this mad river.

"Going Home", you say, and I stare
"What is home?", I''ve never known
"What do you do there?", I seek by my own
"It`s night!, I am going to sleep"
I died in laughter that day and my life long.

Slept, I have all this life, right here
On this solid ground, slept in peace.
No lack of mirth, in my hungry soul
No lack of bruises, on my lonely body
And, Slept I have in peace, right here.

"Why on the streets?", you demand to know
"Help yourselves", you seem to say
"Why, Where and How?", my eyes plead
Do you have the time to show me the way?
Poor Helpless soul, you simply walk away.
Are you still mine?
Cause there many...
Fantasies thoughts going through my head,
As all I do is think of you...
As I''ve hungered,
For your loving burning touch,
As I need your love so badly,
Now till the end of time,
I am waiting for you with open arms
To embrace you with wings of love,
To hold you deep within my soul,
To kiss you without control.
Just being near you,
And be able to behold your touch,
Takes me to another dimension,
But, time just moving so slowly,
To feel the heat of your passions.
I do want you to know...
I will always love you,
That you are all I have ever long for,
And crave, and yearn...
That you are the ANGEL of my dreams,
The one I have search all my life,
That every day, more and more,
I''m falling deeply in love with you!
The past time has
departed, so that it no
longer is; and the future is
not in existence,
in that it has not yet
arrived. And even the
present is not... in that it
does not abide. For see-
ing that the present does
not stand fast, and does
not abide even for an in-
stant, how can it be said
to be present, when it
cannot stand fast for one
moment?
So often when I am embracing you,
It seems that you exist in this world
only because of me and I exist because of you.

It''s not easy to wander in this world
and not lose one''s way,
but the greatest happiness of all
is in giving joy to one''s beloved.

And if the king can have his throne,
and if the bird can have his Spring nest,
and God can have his heaven,
then I, my sweetheart, I can have you!
It''s a human sign
When things go wrong
When the scent of her lingers
And temptation''s strong

Into the boundary
Of each married man
Sweet deceit comes calling
And negativity lands

Cold cold heart
Hard done by you
Some things look better baby
Just passing through

And it''s no sacrifice
Just a simple word
It''s two hearts living
In two separate worlds
But it''s no sacrifice
No sacrifice
It''s no sacrifice at all
How come I don''t know my own pain?
I''m the doctor and the remedy myself.

I wandered around the universe.
For the friend''s sake I have broken my heart.

Oh poor me! I didn''t know
I ''m the beloved and the lover myself.

Mazun, I made myself degraded.
I chose to be in love.

I gave my sole to the beloved.
Soul myself, devotee myself.
One likes darkness, another is in the light.
Another drills to pile up worldly possessions.

What is, is in love, the rest is futile.
The world is nothing, its sultan and its shah all nothing.

Was there ever a sultan whose throne survived?
Is there a lover in this world whose name will fade?

May God bless my father who told my teacher:
"Teach my son love’s lesson, and nothing else."

Look at the soil and rock of the desert;
they’re mourning Majnun’s tears.

If Mazun dies as a pauper,
write on his tombstone: This is love’s abode. And nothing else
People frm every walk of life
Envisage victory and strife
But at some point u find
Tardiness in ur life and mind
Your life stops and comes to an end
And u are in oblivion with nothing to fight for or defend
Anything may stimulate it
Personal loss or a jobles status maybe fit
But such a break from your daily buzz
Lets u rethink on your deed with not much fuss
then u realise that all those painstaking days
With pangs of emotion ,joy and anger has left u frail
Making u maudlin and in a state of enigma
U wail out unconsciously ''Oh Ma...''
Then u wonder y u were ever born
Is it to end up like this ,hopeless and forlorn???
U ponder over your contribution to the world
Then as u go deeper to the murky mind,u even question the existence of such a world
Aaj K Frnds "I Tell U",
Kitne Busy What To Do.

Koi Mujhe Bole "I Miss U",
Koi Mujhe Bole No Time 4u.

Kash Koi Mujhse Kahe,
Oh My Dost "I Am Just 4u".:-)