a stupid guy: "Excuse me sir, what time is it?"
MAN: "It''s 3:15."
a stupid guy: (puzzled look on his face) "You know, it''s the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer."
Titanic was sinking.
An englishman asked Santa, “How far is land”?
Santa: 2 KMs.
Englishman jumped into sea.
Englishman: Now, which direction (left or right)?
Santa: Downwards!